Taylor Swift relationship

Katie Nelmes

Taylor Swift and actor Joe Alwyn have ended their 6-year relationship. While many fans are upset about the news, and her subsequent relationship with Matty Healy, responses have been repeatedly tainted with sexist tones. 

Swift and Alwyn reportedly met for the first time at the 2016 Met Gala, while Swift was still dating Calvin Harris. A year later, it was reported that Swift and Alwyn had been dating for a few months but had decided to keep their relationship private. In the following years, the couple were spotted by the press on numerous occasions but managed to keep most of their relationship secretive, despite rumours that they may have been on the brink of marriage.

Speaking out against persistent engagement rumours, Alwyn stated: “If I had a pound for every time I think I’ve been told I’ve been engaged, then I’d have a lot of pound coins… if the answer was yes, I wouldn’t say, and if the answer was no, I wouldn’t say.”

Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn Breakup Announcement

Despite persistent rumours of relationship bliss, in April 2023 Entertainment Tonight revealed that the relationship had come to an end because it had “run its course”, reporting that the split was “amicable” and “not dramatic”. However, later reports detailed that “the attention from fans and press surrounding Taylor’s fame has been a major factor in the couple’s struggles”. Hearing the news, fans went into overdrive theorising about what caused the relationship’s demise. Some even began making broader comments about Swift’s love life.

Here, fan behaviour became questionable in my eyes.While theorising about the artists we love can be exciting, we should be careful not to reduce Taylor to the sum of her relationships.

Fixations with Swift’s love life

“We must not overstep the mark”

Following the breakup announcement, fans are reflecting that Swift’s most recent album Midnights may have been a breakup album. No element of her life has gone unmissed in the quest to piece together assumptions and clues about her relationships.

And yet, it remains important to remember that Swift and Alwyn kept their relationship private, and they are likely to want to maintain this privacy following their breakup. We must not overstep the mark. It is telling that the public is so upset about this breakup in particular. With Swift now in her 30s, she faces excessive expectations from the media and the public to settle down. Expectations which often come in the form of rumours about the ex-couple’s engagement or secret marriage.

Too often we expect women to desire marriage and having children above all else. Although Swift may desire these things, her relationship status does not diminish her worth as a woman. It is wrong to expect these things from women, especially when male artists don’t face the same expectations.

The controversial relationship with Matty Healy

Following her breakup with Alwyn, Swift entered a relationship with Matty Healy from The 1975. Healy was spotted at three of Swift’s shows, and they were seen in public on numerous occasions. While the relationship has reportedly come to an end, Swift faced a lot of criticism because of controversial behaviour from Healy. This includes saying dating Taylor Swift would be ’emasculating’ and mocking rapper Ice Spice for her ethnicity.

While some fans dismiss Healy’s actions, believing he is portraying a character intended to provoke controversy, some Swifties have held Swift accountable for his actions. Swift is well known for her activism, but a disproportionate burden was being placed on Swift to hold Healy accountable. While Healy undoubtedly has problematic behaviour, it should not be expected for a woman to fix him. The responsibility should lie solely with Healy. By focusing on Swifts relationship status and begging her to ‘fix’ Healy, fans are playing into gender stereotypes.

Women are more than their relationships

All Swifties want nothing but happiness for the singer, whether that comes from her relationships, career, or a combination of the two. We need to do better to remember this. Especially, before we hyper-fixate on elements of Swift’s life, especially those that she appears to want to keep private.

While Swift may not be in a relationship anymore, there are so many more aspects of her life for Swifties to be excited about. Forbes reports that her Eras Tour could gross $620 million, which could make Swift a billionaire.

“Taylor Swift is more than the sum of her relationships, and we would do well to remember as such.”

Throughout each show of the tour, Swift has preformed two surprise songs. Following the news of the breakup, fans waited with anticipation to see which songs she would choose. Fans eagerly waited to see if there would be a hidden meaning behind them. But rather than choosing a song allegedly about Alwyn, Swift chose to sing ‘Speak Now’, the title track of her third album. 

Taylor Swift continues to surprise us in more ways than one. She recently announced that ‘Speak Now Taylor’s Version’ will be released on 7th July. The album will include all the original songs, plus six new tracks, including two that feature Fall Out Boy and Hayley Williams.

Additionally, the Eras Tour continues with dates added to a Latin American leg of the tour. It is even rumoured that Swift could be recording a concert film of the Eras Tour as she has done for previous tours, including ‘Reputation’ which was released on Netflix.

Refusing to be defined by her relationships, she sets the tone for how we should be responding to her. Taylor Swift is more than the sum of her relationships, and we would do well to remember her as such.

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Featured image courtesy of Raphael Lovaski via Unsplash. Image license found here. No changes were made to this image.

Katie is a final year Politics university student and an aspiring political journalist, currently working as a Twitter Editor for Empoword Journalism!

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