43 days. Just over 6 weeks. That’s how long I’ve been home, without physical contact with anyone other than my immediate family.
I looked at myself in the mirror the other day. Right in the eyes. As I watched my reflection stare back at me, apart from feeling somewhat narcissistic, I realised that was probably the most direct eye contact I’ve had for as long as I can remember.
It sounds quite sad. In fact, it is quite sad. I think none of us realised how reliant we were on other people, the physical touch from someone else and the feeling of protection we get from a prolonged cuddle, until it was taken from us. Let’s face it, tightly hugging a pillow at night while trying to fall asleep just doesn’t cut it.
In my time alone, I’ve found myself getting envious of other people who are staying with a significant other. I love my family and am incredibly thankful that I’m with other people rather than living by myself. It’s hard to ignore however my increased jealousy of people spending each day with someone they feel for romantically, as I discover these new emotions of mine in isolation.
As I sit in my bedroom, swiping lazily through Tinder, which I shamefully re-downloaded since being in lockdown, this temporary fix for loneliness is once again shattered when I realise the likelihood of any of these matches becoming ‘real’ is minimal, given the current situation. I’m definitely not the only one in this boat. The majority of accounts I’m seeing have bios related to the pandemic. “Isolation got boring so I downloaded Tinder,” one account read. Another more lighthearted: “If Covid-19 doesn’t take you out, can I?”
I’ve seen an immense rise in apps such as Tinder and Bumble, showing off their new video call dating options and advertising new ‘dating from home’ alternatives for building relationships during the pandemic. If you click on the dating app Hinge, it’s reported that 70% of its surveyed users have expressed an interest in virtual dating.
I also read, unsurprisingly, that in lockdown there’s been an increase of new profiles on dating apps and websites. With all of these new users attempting to combat their loneliness with conversations behind a screen, it’s made me question: How much are dating apps really helping young adults’ mental health in this time?
Whether these people just want online companionship, whether they want to develop something more meaningful at the end of lockdown or perhaps just want somebody to sext with to satisfy their sexual desires that are left unattended to, it’s difficult to ignore that apps and websites will never replace the physical alternative. It’s undeniable that these apps only offer a short-term solution.
Despite my seemingly pessimistic view, I have to agree that although dating apps will never make your loneliness disappear, conversations with anyone makes this alone feeling far more manageable.
For myself, I think the most important thing is to come to terms with self-love. Sure, I’m continuing to call with my friends regularly, especially when one of us is struggling. I will keep having conversations with people I know well, or perhaps not so well, and make do with this new form of social interaction until everything returns to normal. But when any of us are feeling down and don’t want to do anything productive with our days, I think we should aim to love ourselves and find comfort in our own company.
https://www.instagram.com/p/B8tmjAtHaQI/
Oh and here’s one last thing. To all of my friends, once this is all over you’re getting one long hug from me whether you like it or not.
Megan Price
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