The freshers’ experience is a popular one but you’re not alone if it’s not for you.
18-year-old me was excited to be moving away from home for the first time to the city of Cardiff, about to embark on her passion for journalism. After my family moved me into halls of residence, unpacking and meeting my flatmates for the year ahead, I sat down on my bed, stared at the small room I was about to live in, and just burst out crying.
I’d lived in my family home all my life. My family were constantly on hand as we lived only streets away from each other. I had my job, my first ever boyfriend, and the life I always knew was at home. Starting this new chapter of my life was terrifying and I didn’t know what to expect next.
Living with a life-long condition my whole life was also floating in the back of my brain. Now I really had to take care of myself. I could barely find my way around my small hometown and cook an evening meal and now I had to navigate my new life alone in an overwhelming city.
Living in halls didn’t prove too well for me. I felt claustrophobic and very alone in my small bedroom and communal bathroom. As someone who barely spent time in her bedroom at home and who was also very sociable with her family, I found it very difficult being in halls where there weren’t any sociable areas and the small kitchen we had was uncomfortable and untidy.
Cleanliness and a change in environment is something I also had an issue with. I had to learn to live with other people’s habits which proved difficult, especially their standards of what is clean and tidy. I was on good terms with the people in my student accommodation and everyone was lovely but I still found it hard to find common ground with them and I felt very alone.
One saving grace was that a handful of my close friends from home were living in Cardiff too and like I said previously, my family, boyfriend, and the rest of my social circle were only an hour away. Yet I still couldn’t help but realise that my friends had their own lives to lead too and so did everyone at home.
Another saving grace was my course which I kept reminding myself was the reason I was there. Despite it being a huge step up from A-Levels and me not being the most academic, I loved journalism and the media, and if it weren’t for how much I enjoyed it, I would most definitely have dropped out. Yet this was still hard because despite trying my best, I was merely just getting by and scraping a pass for my second year, which got me down. And the course friends I had made were living in halls which felt like a world away, which I also found hard.
I’ve never been one for clubbing either so freshers’ week, or month (it felt like), was not for me. People spent twelve nights out in a row getting just as intoxicated as the night before and I couldn’t even handle one. I was an awful drinker, I had never taken drugs at this point, and I’d only just started experimenting with weed, which wasn’t the best choice of narcotic for an evening in a giant nightclub anyway. So my comfort zone of house parties or gatherings with the people I love was a distant memory at this point.
My relationship also deteriorated and it put me into a giant funk. I was travelling home every other weekend to see my boyfriend which made it hard for me to socialise and settle in Cardiff and it felt like the effort was all one sided. He got very distant despite knowing how lonely I was I realised I was getting more attention and care from other people and I realised this wasn’t okay. I decided to end our relationship and it was definitely for the best – it did, however, add more negativity to my first year.
I can honestly say first year is where I started to develop mental health issues. I was anxious, depressed, and I’d changed as a person. The extrovert I used to be was now very introverted and I was lost. I was scared the next two years would be the same and I’d eventually be back to square one.
Then second year came and I moved in with my closest friends from my course and had the time of my life. Everything changed then. I had my closest people around me, I had a new job, I got myself a new boyfriend, and my social life was better than ever.
What I’m saying is, first year may not be for everyone, university may not be for everyone, but try your best and trust me, you are stronger than you think.
By Kaiya Simon
Feature image courtesy of Green Chameleon on Unsplash. This Image has in no way been altered. Image license is available here.