TW: sexual violence, discussions of assault
Harriet Clark
In England and Wales in 2020, 773,000 persons above the age of 16 reported being sexually assaulted. These sexual offences have tripled in the past few years, disproportionately affecting those who identify as female. Society’s recognition of sexual violence has undoubtedly increased. However, to be believed or sympathised, one must fit a rigid ideal victim template. Whilst this commonly refers to a survivor’s activities prior and during an assault, it also applies to the after-assault narrative. Responses to sexual trauma are commonly depicted as being shut off, cold and introverted; behaviours that coincide with PTSD and depression. However, there is an antithetical response to sexual violence that is rarely spoken about: hypersexuality.
What is Hypersexuality?
Hypersexualising oneself is when you sexualise yourself more than your standard amount. In the framework of a trauma response, it often comes from internalising the sexual objectification thrusted upon you. This commonly starts from a young age, moulding your self-worth as you normalise this belief. It can also be an act of denial to one’s trauma, committing sexual acts to counteract the abuse experienced. This hypersexuality takes control of one’s life and centres sex; whether it be having sex, talking about sex or sexualising yourself in front of others. This can be self-deprecating jokes about sex-capades, or trying to seek validation from others to have them think you are sexually worthy or inform them that others think you are. Masturbation habits and porn/erotica usage can increase in order to create a sexually safe narrative for yourself. This hypersexualisation is not simply a public performance, but an internalised sense of self.
Cultural Significance
Society breeds a misogynistic and heteronormative framework that places women as the subservient mate to men. Women have grown up learning they are to perform sexually for the male gaze, to please male desire and push female pleasure to the side. Failure results in being abandoned by your partner for someone who is sexually sufficient. The fear of abandonment can increase ones hypersexuality to stop the man from leaving and feeling the familiar pain of past trauma. This lack of self-worth and self-esteem is a form of self-harm: torturing yourself with triggering experiences, performing sexually because you feel you have to, placing others pleasure above your own. Hypersexualisation is a continuation of one’s trauma, where the physical and emotional pain intertwines and can leave you more distraught than before.
“This topic needs to be explored in order to keep survivors safe.”
Hypersexualisation is commonly paired with adultification. This is the erasure of children and their innocence by forcing the caricature of adulthood onto them. Adultification disproportionately affects Black girls, who are viewed as more mature and hypersexual by society which increases their chances of being victims of sexual abuse. This creates a dangerous cycle where adultification can lead to abuse, which in turn leads to hypersexuality which can lead to further distressing events. Hypersexuality is a valid response to sexual trauma, but its roots and actions can be dangerous. This topic needs to be explored in order to keep survivors safe.
The Need to Start a Conversation
As a survivor myself, I have experienced hypersexuality. After an assault, I reacted in a way I had never heard about. Craving male attention and validation that I could only receive with my body. Needing others to touch me so that I could no longer feel my abuser. Wanting to use myself the only way I knew how: for sex. Whilst the sex was consensual, I received no joy as I was simply performing. I was morphing into whatever partner people wanted; unable to act on desires of my own which had become clouded with shame. Being bombarded with flashbacks whilst simultaneously eager to please. I was also greeted by an onslaught of slut-shaming and lack of belief of my assault, as why would a survivor of assault be so sexually active? Due to my response, I started to doubt my own trauma, asking if it was even real.
“Even in open survivor spaces, this response is rarely spoken about.”
I was unaware of the valid trauma response that is hypersexualisation of the self. It is a topic that people must educate themselves on in order to aid theirs and others trauma. Even in open survivor spaces, this response is rarely spoken about. This only heightens the stigma surrounding hypersexual persons, especially women. By no means should one assume all hypersexual nature stems from a bed of trauma. Hypersexuality can be a normal behaviour that coincides with consensual sex. However, sexual liberation can be countered by the harmful narrative of slut-shaming. Yet this narrative can be even more painful when you don’t feel in control of your sexual actions.
Whilst hypersexuality can be dangerous after trauma, we must create an open conversation discussing the reasons behind these actions. This can help survivors access the support they need rather than dismissing their behaviour and harming those we should be protecting.
If you or anyone you know has been affected by sexual abuse, please find helpful resources here.
Image courtesy of Gordon Johnson on Pixabay. Image license can be found here. No changes were made to this image.
Hello, I read this in search of solutions on how to heal myself and you helped me validate the feeling internally that its normal to become hypersexual and need that male validation after trauma. The thing is though that due to this hypersexuality I went through, so many men assaulted me. Coercion, rape, sexual activity being initiated by the man while I was very under the influence, being woken up by nonconsensual touch, etc. When I was 11 I was molested by an adult, so when I was 12 I resorted to hypersexuality because I was emotionally neglected and also wanted to take control of the situations i allowed myself to be in. I seeked love and intimacy through this and so many men hurt me. I thought this is how i would get love because its easier to find someone willing to be sexual than someone willing to be intimate emotionally. i blame myself and hate a part of myself because i allowed myself to be assaulted by these men, i put myself in these situations and didn’t have a strong enough self esteem to stand up for myself. i now suffer with sexual intimacy and i just cant stand the person i was during this period of time. I’m sorry for writing all this out, but i really don’t know how to get help with this. my parents don’t understand and my therapist sucks. i feel like you would understand the best. Its okay if you don’t see this or don’t respond but i thought i should give it a shot. thank you
Hi, I’m so sorry that no one has answered you, and i am willing to. I dont even know if you’ll see this, since your comment was 2 months ago.
I am a 14-year-old female. I was touched by my female cousin around age 5-7. She was 2 years older than me. When i was exposed to the first time, my hormones woke up, they never seemed to become dormant, because of the repeated times she’d touch me.
I cant’ really understand or know if it was abuse because she was also really young. It made me uncomfortable but i didnt tell anyone.
Fast forward to 11, I would go onto online sites and show myself to obviously older men. I formed an addiction. I had this one “boyfriend”. I loved him a lot, and at 11 thats a lot to say. we started to explore more sexual-talk subjects and that woke my hormones up even more. It was all i wanted to talk about. It was all I wanted to do. But I didn’t see this as a problem.
I have this boyfriend for another 2 years, and our sexual talk progressed a lot. I started to get into the really sexual kinks, reading and learning about it. That is NOT okay at 13. It messed with me a lot.
I break up with him at 13, boom. I go to so many other boys for attention, mostly for sex talk. My parents would notice my behavior as well, and I would decline their help or listening to them at all.
Anyways, I have another boyfriend who I have sex with immediately. He was my first, but I didn’t care about who would be. I regret it so much and wish I knew why I was so messed up. This has affected my life so negativle, I almost killed myself in the 7th grade and I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I havent known what was wrong with me until summer of 2021. which isnt so long ago.
I started to do some research on the issue and it turns out, yeah, hypersexuality is a thing. It happens when you are abused, and you CRAVE the sexual desires. It still affects me to this day, I don’t know what to do either, Trinity. I feel nervous when I talk to my therapist about this, and it’s a really sucky feeling. I can’t help but cry and feel so helpless sometimes. I WANT help, I don’t like suffering from this along with anxiety and paranoia that someone will hurt me again, after I let so many people take advantage of me.I wanted to share my story to let you know you are not alone. I love you and you are so strong.
First of all, I want to thank you for being there for Trinity when I wasn’t. Secondly, I hope you realise how strong YOU are for telling your story in order to help another survivor, and I hope it helped you in the process. I am so proud of you for already being so self-aware of your traumas and your responses to it, it is heart-breaking you have had to do this at your age and I wish I could protect you from all of this. If you are willing to, I would love to have a conversation with you, we can speak about anything you are comfortable with but potentially we could work together on thinking about how you could open up to your therapist about your feelings on hypersexuality after abuse. My email is harriet.r.clark@hotmail.co.uk but if you would rather a more informal chat to ease into it my Instagram handle is harrietclark97. Always remember you are strong and your feelings are valid – Harriet x
As a sexual assault survivor who was drugged and lost her physical innocence to not one but two men who she trusted at University, I can relate to the trauma of so many here. I am deeply appreciative for this post as it has validated so much for me.
After over 20 years of experiencing highly unstable relationships and additional sexual traumas as a result of misunderstood and undiagnosed hypersexuality, I can finally understand more clearly why I’ve behaved and responded this way in the wake of my initial and subsequent assaults. I feel stronger with this new found knowledge as there is strength in numbers (hidden as they may yet be). It is comforting to know that this hypersexual response to the trauma is as valid as withdrawing from sexual intimacy.
My heart breaks for all of you who have shared your traumas with us in here and also for those who are allies of those who are survivors of trauma. May you all be blessed with loving kindness, warm comfort and generosity of spirit from this day forth.
Find a good therapist. Don’t give up. Keep searching until you find one who is a good fit and who honours your experience and who validates you. Surround yourself by supportive friends, family or a chosen family who can hold your vulnerability.
Just don’t wait 20 years, like I did, to get help. Your life will only get more complicated and the best parts will pass you by. It may seem hard to face or painful but there’s no better time for therapy than now.
Best wishes <3
Hi, today I was listening to rock music reactions and one of those was Daddy by Korn, it moves me something that have always been awarded of, but never gave it the importance, then looking for more info i read this and all the pieces fit. I am 33 yo man, from Latin America when i was 6-7 I had this neighbor girl, that used to touch me and made me kiss their intimate parts up and down, she was like 11-12 a that time. To make my story short, I always wandered why i was feel strongly attracted to my female partners since school, but also grown women, and so on. I started to masturbate to earlie and never could stop, hypersexualized every women i meet on my mind. It contrasted with my sexual activity, I have olny been with 3 women that I loved, one is my current girlfriend. I started “late” I guess, bc I was 21 yo. The issue is, the only time I tried to stop masturbating and thinking about that, was like 2 months in my 20s. It is frustrating, now porn is available with one simply search but also the content in social media, like IG, it’s like every time I tried to channel myself, stop wasting hours of my week masturbating, i just can’t. Could i be a trauma from that earlier exposure, i never took it as sexual abuse until now, and I also know she was also abused since she was a girl, so i never blamed her. I just want to make clear, I am in general a balanced person, i have passed through some other things in my life that i successfully overcome to make the man i am today. But this, I lie myself that it is normal and that i have all that specific matter under control. I a job, two majors, a lovely girlfriend, 3 dogs, friends, lovely family, except this. But that song by Korn that strangely i never heard until today (i grew up on the 2000s, this music was The music, even in Latin America), even knowing the story of Chester from Linkin Park, and some impressive songs this one moved me, and the case, that Davis was also abuse by a babysitter neighbor, really got me. Well, thanks for reading, i know I have to work on this, for myself.
I am so incredibly sorry; I don’t get notifications about comments and only just saw this. You are so brave for being open about your story and I am so sorry if my lack of response has hurt you further. If you would like to contact me for us to have a conversation my email is harriet.r.clark@hotmail.co.uk or if you would rather something less formal my Instagram is harrietclark97. I understand if you don’t want to speak further but please know I am always here if you need to speak and I will be better at checking my comments. I am so thankful my work was able to help you validate your feelings but I know healing is not linear so if you need further help, I will happily help you find it – Harriet x
I myself as an adult responded to my abuser in a hypersexualized way in an almost defiant, you will not destroy my need for sexual pleasure. I was so broken by his constant attacks in the home and in front of my children, that I was starting to think of sex as the enemy not him. I know there is so much confusion because this person has destroyed your sexual identity and I think good or bad that becoming hypersexualized is in itself better then the self hatred/hatred of sex that I was feeling before. I feel that the hypersexualization helped empower me to fight the mental and sexual effects this person had caused me. Yes hypersexualization does revictimize you but we aren’t taught how to recover from this type of trauma besides you’re broken now so sex is something you’ll never have or feel good about.
Literally you have basically taken the words from my mouth. I have had. Similar experience with men and at the same ages. When I was 11 I was molested and statutory raped , absent parents and aloof grandparents. I have issues with men Nd still to this day issues with intimacy. I find myself hyper sexualzijg in my current relationship but to what gain? None. I just want love. I don’t know how else to.
This is for both comments:
Please don’t give up! It takes a lot to find people who can help, as even professionals can be awful with this subject (sorry I can’t bring myself to say it) but there are people out there who will be understanding, believe you, and not make things worse. Don’t just accept a poor therapist or doctor, speak up for yourself and keep doing so until you find someone trustworthy.
Hopefully someone close to you will come through, too. If not, there are some incredibly kind people out there. Acquaintances that you wouldn’t have thought would care might well do. Counsellors. A person on a hotline who actually shows they understand and doesn’t just go through a list of generic responses. A teacher. A colleague.
Finding the right people involves a lot of trial and error, and disappointment. I’ve not found many people that understand but the few that have have made such a difference in my life.
You’ve got this. One moment at a time.
I wasn’t sexually abused, but my younger friend was. It makes me wanna cry; it’s so fucked up that he had to go through it. His relationship with sex is really unhealthy and I’m just so lost sometimes – I’m almost seventeen, he’s turning fifteen tomorrow. I just. It’s just so hard to know that something so awful happened to him, and I’m filled with so much grief that I couldn’t have been there for him when it happened – not blame, we didn’t even know each other back then, just. Lots and lots of grief. God, I just hate this so much. He can’t go to a therapist until he’s an adult because his mother’s freaking crazy and won’t let him, and he’s also trans, which adds yet another layer of troubles for him on its own (his town sucks), and it’s just a lot to deal with sometimes. God, I hope we can last these few years and then it’s gonna get better. I hope now that he’s going to high school, things can improve, however little. I’m trying to be there for him, and to learn more about it and to make him feel just a little more stable, a little happier and more accepted and like he has someone to rely on. I just don’t feel like I’m doing good enough sometimes. Fuck, am I doing okay? Is researching good? I’ve read through like, twenty websites about this stuff today. I don’t wanna make anything worse, and I’m trying not to strain myself too much either cos that’d be bad too, and sometimes I don’t now what to do. How to help. If there’s any way to make things easier on him. I hate that he had to go through this. He’s such a sweet, amazing person. Nobody deserves this. My heart goes out to all sexual trauma survivors. Jesus, this is so fucked up, it’s so fucked up that it keeps happening on and on
I am so sorry about your friend, and also the array of emotions you are now feeling. He is incredibly lucky to have someone like you who wishes to educate themselves in order to help his healing. I know my friends and family have been broken by my stories, and I have spent countless nights crying over their stories too. I think as a friend of a survivor it is so hard to how to handle this situation, as you want to be there but have no idea how to help, or you want to let them know you care but you don’t want to always bring it up. Doing independent research is an amazing start, as not only will it mean so much to him, I hope it will help you understand the situation and can validate your feelings by hearing stories from other survivors loved ones. Whilst it is so clear how much you love him, I want to make sure you look after yourself as well, it sounds like you have a lot of anxiety based around wishing you could have helped him but as much as it wasn’t his fault it wasn’t yours either. Its heart-breaking he cannot get therapy yet, but there are many communities and helplines out there he could speak to. Although it sounds like you have done lots of research already, if you need help I can curate a list of sexual violence organisations who are queer friendly so that he can be fully open about who he is and what has happened to him. This will then also take pressure off of you as I’m worried about the impact this is having on you. It sounds like he is very lucky to have you and I wish I had someone like you when I was that age going through this.
i was abused by my uncle at the age of 6 after that i became highly sexual by the time i reached puberty i use to think this is not normal but thank you for writhing this down. i blamed myself for it thinking maybe i was the one who was in fault thats why it happened to me due to the trauma response. i am working on it trying to cover my ptsd. dont be ashamed just work on yourself.
Thank you so much for coming forward with your story and I’m so glad this has helped you feel validated. Your response was and is incredibly normal, and I appreciate you so much for adding into this safe space so we can stop other survivors feeling this way. I am also very pleased to hear you are working on your ptsd as it sounds like you are in treatment, however if you are not, I would happily help you look for professionals near you. My contact details are in the above comments if you would like to get in touch. You are incredibly brave and your trauma nor your response is your fault – Harriet x
17-year-old FtM guy here. This is gonna be kind of long because I jump around a lot (sorry).
I was emotionally, verbally, and sexually abused by my biological father several times when I was younger. I can only remember three distinct instances (roughly ages 5, 9, and 10), but I’m almost positive that it happened more than that, because every time it happened, it was when he thought I was asleep. I remember times when I was younger when I would mimic how he’d touched me because it felt good and I had no idea that it wasn’t normal. Not at that age, at least.
When I was 11-12 I started going online and doing sexual roleplays with people older than me, which introduced me to a plethora of kinks and fetishes. Some of them stuck with me and became instant turn-ons.
After starting testosterone injections in 2019, my hypersexuality only got worse. The sudden hormonal spike made me horny basically 24/7.
Since the start of high school, I’ve only had two relationships, neither being successful or long-lasting. I haven’t had or attempted a relationship since then. My hypersexuality—plus my history of emotional and sexual abuse—hinders my ability to form or comprehend healthy romantic relationships. I’m still working up the courage to talk to my therapist about my hypersexuality, but I suppose this is a good start.
Truth be told, the only reason I found this article is because I’m writing the trauma response of a character in my story who was almost r*ped. The story itself is saturated with sex scenes and kinks. I like to think that it’s my way of safely expressing these hypersexual urges, but sometimes I feel really ashamed of myself for finding it fun and taking such pride in my writing. A lot of conflicting feelings, honestly. But reading this article turned out to be helpful for me and my story. Thanks, Harriet <3
Sexual abuse is trauma. In any and all forms. As a survivor, it has taken years to truly understand my hypersexual behavior that derived from my abuse. Shame and guilt are absolutely a part of the process. Healing doesn’t have to mean telling your story over and over to be re-traumatized every time. Healing is being compassionate with yourself, giving yourself grace, understanding what triggers your emotions and behaviors, and then knowing how to effectively cope with those triggers, even when your body doesn’t seem to listen. It has taken me years of psych classes, a couple of degrees, and finally now Trauma Recovery Coaching to get to healing. Healing is an ongoing process. If your interested in learning more about Trauma Recovery Coaching, visit my website at http://www.dovesinnerbeauty.com.
I am taking Dopa causing hyper sex. What can I do?
Look at the question!
You are all so brave in being able to reach out to each other. The first part of healing is discussing your issues so that is brave of you all. To the friend, you will be appreciated so much and you have the power to change how your friend experiences the world. Just keep a note that you are strong enough to experience this, you can conquer anything. My heart goes out to you all x
I know someone who wasn’t abused or suffered any trauma, yet they are hypersexual. They work as a burlesque dancer, tour guide, actress, and artists model, she is a superb artist, and have had 2 failed marriages, and 1 Partner, who they dominate mentally, but are submissive to in bed. They sexualise themselves online on Instagram and even offer advice on topics such as relationships and in particular, affairs, boasting of how they were their bosses mistress being taken over the office desk like a common whore! How does this fit into hypersexualisation? Where’s the trauma? Is the theory debunked by this example, and it’s all just hormonal, with people reacting differently? My friend V loves pole dancing and burlesque. She loves to show her perfect, hot body off.
My story – the love of my life just died of cancer. When I say she was the love of my life I mean that in the fairy tale way. We dated for four years and each had our own kids in different cities and were waiting to finalize divorces and start a life together. I thought we were devoted to each other. After she suddenly died I grieved for two weeks like a widow. And then a lot came out. I was not the only one. Per her phone that her co-workers got into, she had 6 – 8 relationships like ours plus many one night stands and then they discussed her inappropriate behavior with other men at work, one of whom got fired for it. Even on times we were together I found out she had been with other men earlier in the same day.
I am trying to figure out how I missed so much. She was my best friend but I missed all of this. Our conversations, our texts, our time together was about building for the future. She had a poor relationship with her dad who left when she was six and several step dads. I wonder if there was trauma then.
When the cancer came her behavior accelerated. I can see the clues she gave me in retrospect and combined with the information given to me from different sources and our interpersonal talks, I can see she was hypersexual and maybe needed help. I hate that I did not recognize that while she was alive and hate that I may have contributed to her trauma even though 90% of relationship was talking and texting and caring about each other. I poured love into her and told her every day she was beautiful and wonderful. During the four years we were together I thought the attention I received back from her was because we loved each other.
How was I so blind to see that she needed help and a better friend?
Thank you for this amazing space. I’m still trying to work on how i can share things. I don’t feel comfortable talking to anyone about things that happened ancient ago when i was a kid, I’m 24 now. By reading shared stories of some, i felt like they’ve experienced way worse that what i have but they are way braver than i am.
Ps. I hope i can read somewhere Mr.Ftm’s story as a writer.
Hi Harriet ,
Firstly, I want to say that it was incredibly brave of you to share your own story. As an abuse surviver I know how hard it is. I came accross you when researching treatment options for myself. Unfortunately I didn’t find anything,which I had expected as I had already been through the dublin rape crisis centre in 2018 without so much as the offer of counseling, but I wanted to thank you for writing about this and continuing to write about it because it is so important. I’ve felt like such a freak for so long, even before my last assault, but you have mad me feel like less of a freak fir the first time in 4 years so that you .
I am so glad this is being talked about. This clears up so many things for me. My love language is words of affirmation and growing up my parents emotionally abused me. I’m talking calling bullying, skinny shaming, saying ill never be anything in life, calling me the same names my school bullies would call me…. For that reason I turned to sweet talking boys who “liked” me. Because of me need for love I was raped by men who “knew what i wanted and just wanted me to relax”. That caused my hypersexuality and my cycle of slut shaming myself. It was 7 years of this cycle. I was always trying to better myself and I was fortunate to have friends that stuck by my side even when i would throw them under a bus if a guy asked me to. The turning point for me was when I told myself I love me, and really meant it…. Hold on to hope and keep looking for the other side…. its not easy at all but it is possible
Thank you so much for sharing, and to the people in the comments sharing their stories too, you are brave and are helping me and probably many others understand themselves and their response to trauma.
I’m sitting here reading this and sobbing with relief that I’m not the only one. I was groomed and coerced by an adult family member for much of my childhood, and I always felt so much shame about the fact that not only did I not stop him, but I basked in his attention, and encouraged it. It’s been hard to work on that shame when it feels like this trauma response of seeking attention never stopped. I’ve never been able to tell anyone “no.” I’ve pretended to like people I never liked, I’ve done everything to get their attention and validation, I’ve Needed people to see me as sexually gratifying in order to fulfill some deep dark terrible needy fear that has been present ever since the abuse. My inability to set boundaries and my tendency to search for validation even if it only makes me feel emptier has deeply hurt myself and other people. I’m finally in an extremely loving, healthy relationship that I feel very safe in, but I feel so much shame about how my trauma responses have impacted her and others, even though I’ve stopped engaging in those behaviors for a long time now. My mind tells me I’m dirty and perverted and that I will never deserve her, but she’s the only one in the entire world I’ve ever Actually wanted. I want to let go of this shame and fear so badly but my brain keeps reminding me of the times I repeated the same patterns of my childhood, and I can’t stop feeling like I’m a sick, horrible person. I’m going to start therapy again this friday and really try to open up about my struggles with hypersexuality, and use this article as a reference point. I’m really hoping to find peace and let go of this all-consuming self hatred that won’t stop plaguing me. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I am browsing the internet for this because I want to find out how to heal since I cannot talk about what happened in light of how I acted out my trauma after the sexual assault events with my boyfriend. I know this is an old post but anyway, I know several people who acted out in a hypesexualized manner after assault, and it didn’t even take that bad of an assault in some cases. I actaully thought it was more common to act that way, then to refrain altogether. I guess it depends on the type of sexual abuse/assault, if you had other supportive people in your life, and if you were trauma free when it happened, which is unlikely.
I’ve always hated the word “hypersexual” it reminded me of an abuser who’s addicted to sex.. So, I’m 40, and I have 2teenagers..at age 8, I was raped for years by an kid a few yrs older than me, at 12 my uncle molested me,, fast forward very far,after growing up in 5diff group homes, I started using drugs at 19..in this became prostitution, I never seemed to care about sex or my body.. like if was just an object, I never got any pleasure .. it was a task, a job.. fast forward 20 yrs til I’m actually 3yrs in recovery.. at the end of my using, I wàs picked up as a prostitute.. and brutally raped and attacked strangled and thrown out of the car.. I somehow have still managed to stay in recovery even after that..amongst those 3 very different assaults..I don’t remember much from the “peer”, and my uncle..I don’t really know how it effected or effects me, except it was really confusing and made me trust ppl even less. My last attach was may22 2021..the first anniversary went by, with a plan of staying busy.. Now, my point of writing this long thing.. this year? I was so so confused, and felt like the biggest creep weirdo..mind you, I on a typical day, don’t think about sex , don’t really care about sex, I don’t fantasize about it.. watever..this anniversary, I found myself like a robot, like I know I have control of my actions.. but this was like in a some what disassociated state.. and specifically searched and found a random guy, who I’ve never met, too have sex with, oddly was really only looking for a guy who was the same age ish and race of my attacker..so, that happened.. it was consensual, stupid and I didn’t do it for pleasure.. I felt disgusting, so gross, embarrassed, so confused but again. This is a pretty awkward subject probably for anyone… Mind you tho, I’m was/am an addict, but don’t use anymore.. so ? Take away, self harm .. my first addiction, take away drugs, drinking, and any other self destructive thing I used to do.. and I’m left with a confused messy mind and had just made it worse.. exactly how I came across this site and article..and this has definitely helped but I’m still confused cuz it’s like a double edged sword.. I don’t know.. thank you all for reading/ listening/sharing.. it helps to know I’m not alone
This article is so amazing and very needed. Thank you so much for writing it and sharing your own personal perspective. So glad this exists because this point is rarely talked about, and, like you said looked down on.
Beautiful article! I also went through this. I actually just finished a manuscript basing this in my fantasy book. Somewhere where its safe to have discussions about this and shed more light on it in commercial fiction. I’m forever grateful to have found a counselor who explained hypersexuality as a trauma response, and hope to share it with the other 1 in 3