Valentine’s Day is like that strange strawberry sensation in a Cadbury’s milk tray. It’s sharp, overpowering: and you either love it or you hate it. With lockdown 3.0 hindering even the Galentine’s celebrations, spending it in 2021-style solitude might be just as sickly sweet.
79% of Brits planned to celebrate Valentine’s Day in 2020, which was up 10% from the one before. But as more couples are indulging in the celebrations, the pity for the singles – whether the decision is self-inflicted or not – remains.
But who can be blamed when our upbringings train us to believe we’re nothing without our ‘other halves’? First it’s the childhood fairy tales where the fixed order is love, marriage and the ambiguous ‘happily ever after’; then the adolescent book-turned-films that glamourise toxic relationships brimming with arguments and pain; and finally, Sex and the City, where being faced with the jarring concept of being single at 35 makes your heart seize.
“No matter what age you are or what media channels you absorb, the idea that we are defined by our romantic partners is so prevalent that it becomes concrete.”
No matter what age you are or what media channels you absorb, the idea that we are defined by our romantic partners is so prevalent that it becomes concrete.
My first serious boyfriend and I broke up when I was freshly 19. I woke up every day during those initial – and most painful – few weeks as if his entire weight rested on my chest. “I’m alone,” I would sob, more mornings than not, “What am I going to do now?”. The answer: well, whatever I wanted.
Not that relationships inhibit you, but sometimes being alone is more beneficial. And what better way to start your new self love journey than on Valentine’s Day, the day of romantic relationships. Besides, there is nothing in Cupid’s handbook about these celebrated relationships having to be with anyone other than ourselves.
In fact, no relationship is more perennial, because you’re the only person that will have your own back. Though it’s cliche and a somewhat half-glass-empty approach, you are the love of your own life.
“You are not someone’s half: you are whole.”
The journey to this discovery and repaving these old and tired beliefs is far from easy. However, it might require religiously studying the works of Florence Given and Dolly Alderton, or looking in the mirror without instantly nitpicking the flaws. Whatever it takes, there is one thing to remember. You are not someone’s half: you are whole.
Being alone is not a failure, nor worth pity. And it doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re waiting on the next relationship to come along.
Maybe the loved-up ones are those we should feel sorry for. They might have to muster a limp smile upon receiving an equally limp bunch of the wrong flowers, or squeeze into an outfit that’s a bit too snug after an indulgent January- and December before that. The relationship with yourself is the only one where there’s no compromise required.
So wake up and smell the roses: being single on Valentine’s Day is a blessing in disguise.
Romy Prestly Follow @romyprestly
Featured image courtesy of Laura Ockel on Unsplash. Image license can be found here. No changes were made to this image.
romyprestly
I'm Romy and I'm a third year Journalism student at the University of Stirling. I hope to be a features writer after graduation, writing human interest and lifestyle pieces in particular.