‘What’s next?’ has repeated itself to every student since the abrupt end to the academic year in March. As Covid-19 cast aside the kick-off to this century’s highly anticipated Roaring Twenties, lockdown paved the way for a void of painful uncertainty, that still stretches out ahead of us.
“We’re all ‘working on mysteries without any clues’.”
Frustrated about being robbed of summer term and upset by imminent farewells, I turned to music. A line from one of my favourite songs, Bob Seger’s ‘Night Moves’, stood out to me. It summed up my mindset on the cusp of lockdown; that we’re all ‘working on mysteries without any clues’. It’s been in my head ever since, as to me it presents the choice we’re faced with in situations like these. Do we accept not having the solutions, instead learning to embrace uncertainty? Or do we let it consume us, allowing precious time and moments to fritter away?
For a languages student about to embark on her year abroad – the undisputed highlight of every linguist’s studies – lockdown was a pill too bitter to swallow. Months of tackling tricky translations and grappling with grammar were almost justified, with plans to make the following year wonderful. Wandering streets of gingerbread and Glühwein at German Christmas markets and dancing the night away in the fiery heart of Madrid warranted every long library day. So remaining indefinitely stationary? Hard pass.
I know, complaining about cancelled plans isn’t the right way to react to the current situation, especially when the world faces much bigger problems. But regretfully, not knowing when plans would go ahead as predicted was infuriating, so I chose to be resentful. So with little to do except stop and think, my thoughts turned to another mystery, that to me bears many similarities to lockdown: the future.
“I spent so long living as a perfectionist, trying to map out the future, that I chose to hate whatever got in the way – people, pandemics, life’s rich tapestry.”
‘What’s next?’ taunts our teenage years. At school, I was told to focus on the next step, to envisage what I’d be doing in ten years’ time rather than appreciate everything going on around me. And because the future is, when you’re young, this romanticised mystery world of dream jobs and ideal partners, my lack of foresight as to how I’d get where I was apparently destined made me miserable. Life seemed a problem to solve. I spent so long living as a perfectionist, trying to map out the future, that I chose to hate whatever got in the way – people, pandemics, life’s rich tapestry.
“Life is a journey to be taken, along with every roadblock, pit stop and detour.”
Truthfully, I secretly envy anyone with their ‘what’s next?’ sorted, and those studying courses that’ll take them directly into employment upon graduation. But to anyone as clueless as me, stressed that, thanks to Covid-19, they’re back on square one – breathe. Lockdown has made me realise that plans don’t often work out – just look around you. If we view life as a mystery, a case to be closed, we’re doing it wrong. Life is a journey to be taken, along with every roadblock, pit stop and detour. There are no mysteries or clues. Tomorrow hasn’t happened yet.
Anna Donkin
Featured image courtesy of Matthew Ronder-Seid via Unsplash. Image license found here. No changes were made to this image.