Trigger Warnings: Discussion of assault, abuse, harassment, missing people, and fatalities
Sarah Everard was reported missing on 3 March after she never made it home from an evening at a friend’s house near Clapham Common, London. In the search for Sarah, a serving Metropolitan Police Officer has now been arrested on suspicion of murder. This harrowing news has deeply upset everyone here at Empoword Journalism as the vast majority of us know the fears of walking alone (or even in a group, sometimes), especially after dark. We wanted to extend our deepest sympathies to everyone impacted by this news, especially the family and friends of Sarah, and in doing so, we have asked our contributors to share their thoughts and any supportive advice they have for anyone who is upset or nervous following this tragedy.
“I think communication between young women is so important and always checking up on friends. This tragic news has shown just how common this abuse is for women so it’s only when we’re open with each other about having these uncomfortable discussions that we can truly be there to support each other, whether that’s having a phone call to keep someone company walking home or calling out any inappropriate comments or forms of harassment from men.” – Lauren Mcgaun
“Never has it been more painful not to be able to hug friends. This tragic news has come mere days after International Women’s Day and it feels like a slap in the face to all the progress women have made. I want nothing more than to gather up the strongest females in my life and give them a big big hug, tell them to stay safe, that they can always call me if they feel scared at night. I want to promise them that it will be okay one day, and I am so heartbroken to know that day won’t come for Sarah Everard.” – Matilda Head
“Various news stories across this week have made incredibly difficult times for so many women, made even worse by the fact that we have only just had International Women’s Day. This tragedy breaks the heart of, and terrifies, every woman and girl out there who has experienced harassment or assault in their lives but I want you to know that you’re not alone. Unfortunately, 97% of women aged 18-24 have reported that they have experienced sexual harassment, so though we are in a community that we never asked to be a part of, we are all in this together and will support each other through this. Men – please call out any harassment you see from your friends – it’s everyone’s job to look out for our women and girls. You can find some support links below which will hopefully help somebody out there who this has affected.” – Caitlin Parr
“I’ve realised how conditioned women are to modify behaviour to protect themselves because as a society we don’t question it until something terrible occurs. This requires action, education, and change from all parties – women are too often not the problem. Our work comes with speaking up and sharing how men can make us feel safer; their job is to listen and learn. It’s not all men of course and it’s deeply systematic. We shouldn’t have to have a safety checklist just to walk home. Keep supporting each other, speaking, and listening, and keep communicating to help others understand and initiate change.” – Danielle Saunders
“Between this tragic news and the Guardian‘s report about 97% of women aged 18-24 experiencing sexual harassment, it’s a really hard day for girls everywhere. If you are feeling scared or upset, you aren’t on your own. Keep in touch with your friends, take breaks from social media, and stay safe.” – Vicky Greer
“I think, in order to progress as a society, we need to call out small, seemingly insignificant behaviour when it happens. I wish more men felt comfortable confronting misogyny within an all-male environment because, by allowing callous remarks and one-off comments to fly under the radar, this becomes acceptable. And it absolutely isn’t. The tragic case of Sarah Everard has demonstrated that we cannot afford to become complacent despite the huge steps we have taken over the past few years.” – Eva Bailey
“I think it is safe to say every woman reading this story felt ‘that could’ve been me’. The biggest tip my girls stick to is have each other on ‘find my friends’ on our iPhones which allows you to see your friend’s location. Even if you’re not out together communicate and let lots of people know where you are by text or have somebody on the phone (with your headphones in). Also, I’m always on the lookout for shops I can run into or people I can catch up with to make it look like I am not on my own. The lengths we have to take as women to feel safe walking home are appalling and even then tragedies like this happen far too often. We must stick together and help each other to tackle this change. My heart goes out to Sarah and her friends and family.” – Isabelle Casey
“I find it appalling that in 2021 we still have to say stuff like this because of the sad circumstances that exist, but stay safe everyone. Praying for a better and safer world.” – Halimah Begum
“We know sexual harassment rate is alarming… I am sharing some tips because what happened to Sarah can happen to anyone: 1. If you find yourself in this kind of situation, attack back if you can, if you can’t, that doesn’t mean you are weak. You are not weak. 2. Reach out to people if you can nearby, maybe by raising an alarm or calling out. 3. Share your story (if you feel comfortable – it could provide help or advice for others). 4. We are women. When we come together and are determined, nothing can stop us.” – Sanni Barhokah
“The tragic news serves as a timely reminder that women are too often victims of violence for merely existing. I hope the news unites women and male allies worldwide to keep one another safe and continue to call out derogatory or violent behaviour towards women, regardless of race, religion, class, or sexuality. It shouldn’t have to take women changing their behaviour or walking route to prevent men from preying on women. Ultimately, society should work together to radically change unconscious biases which lead to the devaluing of women’s lives daily.” – Shannon Cook
“The problem also lies with the men who sit in silence. I once confided in two of my male friends about an experience I had with a man who made me feel so uncomfortable I was too afraid to say no when he asked for my phone number. Rather than showing compassion, I was dismissed with ‘well you could’ve just said no.’ Men will never understand the fear and intimidation women feel in everyday situations. We need to address the microaggressions and encourage men to listen to women and come from a place of understanding rather than defence.” – Alex Slater
“Sarah’s story is truly tragic, not just because we have lost yet another beautiful soul to male aggression but because this has happened before…and it will happen again – until we take action. It is down to both men and women to recognise the importance of keeping our friends, family, and strangers safe from predators. Women should not have to avoid the dark just to stay safe. Women should not have to feel threatened in their home town. Women should not have to live their lives in fear.” – Madeleine Raine
“We too easily convince ourselves that our own experiences of sexual harassment and assault won’t be taken seriously or don’t fit the definition because of certain nuances. We need a wake-up call: men have to accept that despite “not all men” being guilty, too many are, and their lack of experience with sexual assault shouldn’t invalidate ours. A blame culture exists that scrutinises the stories of survivors. Instead, we need to overturn our internalised biases that automatically place blame on the woman involved and emphasise that unwanted advances, in whatever form, are not justified, earned or right. More compassionate discussion needs to be had, and society desperately needs to educate itself better.” – Lucy Dunn
Accessing Help and Support –
Photo courtesy of Polina Kuzovkova on Unsplash. Image license can be found here. No changes have been made to this image.
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